Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
