at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
