You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
