VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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