so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
