I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
