I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's the barista slut.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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