Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
