Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
