real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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