...so i touched it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
