im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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