I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
