I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
