we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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