i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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