Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
