She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
