Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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