Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
