Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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