Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
