I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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