New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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