So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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