What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
