Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
