I think my vagina is haunted
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
