Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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