Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
