Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
