is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
