Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think your dad took our porno
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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