I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
