yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
