you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
