Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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