All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
