I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
