I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
They have beer where we have blood.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
