I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
