im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
