Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
