so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
