He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The feeling are messing with the penis
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
