So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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