Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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