if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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