Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
