Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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