I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
