You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love having hate sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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