dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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